Howard Schultz Is *Not* Running For President (Probably)

0
40

It’s hard out there for a person of means on a grand-scale ego trip, a lesson one Howard Schultz had to learn the hard way. The former Starbucks CEO’s will-they-or-won’t-they relationship with a presidential candidacy bid appears to have found its answer: he won’t.

Schultz made waves—angry waves, so very angry—in January when he announced that he was “seriously considering” possibly maybe thinking about, if it wouldn’t be too much trouble, looking into a presidential bid as a “centrist independent.” Shockingly enough, the announcement and subsequent potential bid never gained a footing. Over the course of the last four months, no one has had Schultz’s back, even his own back. And now Eater reports Schultz has “let go most of his campaign team” and won’t be campaigning over the summer while he’s recovering from back surgery. This is not to say that Schultz presidential dreams are completely dead; a final decision on his candidacy won’t be made until after Labor Day, but by then he’ll be too far behind other candidates that surely he wouldn’t consider… oh that’s right, he’s too good for the Democratic Party. There’s still time for him to fuck it up, I guess.

Say what you will about Howard Schultz, but he was able to unite the country; he got everyone, progressive and conservative alike, to be deeply annoyed together at his ersatz candidacy. Personally I’m a little bummed to hear he’s most likely already done, because it deprives Sprudge of a plethora of mockery-based content over the coming months, and I was going to kick start my coffee lifestyle brand with some super-sweet anti-Schultz merch.

If he does decide to run, I’ll be taking pre-orders.

Zac Cadwalader is the managing editor at Sprudge Media Network and a staff writer based in Dallas. Read more Zac Cadwalader on Sprudge.

Top image by Elaine Thompson/AP via ABC News

 

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here