We Are Obsessed With Chemex: The Game

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There’s a lot going on at your typical SCA Expo weekend. The sights, the sounds, the slurps, the soirees, the partays, the shindigs, the meet n’ greets, the gab n’ gulps, the delicate dance of pretending to remember someone’s name when you in fact have no clue, the booths, the pop-ups, the Symposium zaddies and ReCo freak-os, the security guards, the backstage breakdowns, the tech, the dreck, the cheeky sips in violation of trade show floor rules, the smell of convention center carpet, the $500 a night marathon price gouging hotel rooms and the dream of a lobster roll, deferred.

We covered all this and much more over the last few days on Sprudge and Sprudge Live, and will be rolling out a bevy of content related to said in the hours to come. But one curious curio stood out at the 2019 SCA Expo, a digital delight quite unlike anything we’ve encountered in our decade of covering coffee festivals around the world.

That would be Chemex: The Game.

In Chemex: The Game, one plays the tuxedoed role of Dr. Peter Schlumbohm, inventor of the titular brewing device and longtime subject of adoration at this website. It appeared apropos of nothing over SCA Expo weekend, and has been lightly shared around #CoffeeTwitter—that’s where it first came to our attention, before promptly derailing our Slack channel.

The game’s action is reminiscent of Burger Time, Diner Dash, and other video games about comestibles. An unyielding onslaught of coffee elements—water, flavor notes, beans (drupe seeds, technically)—are hurled at the good Dr. alongside “distasteful elements” like acid, sediment, and fat. Only by catching the good stuff whilst avoiding the bad can one advance through the game’s many levels. A succesful performance yields helpful elements like a filter top, or a funnel, which are capable of protecting from impurities.

The gameplay is unexpectedly addictive, and after each successful level completed Dr. Schluhmbohm complements your brew. Imagine! The inventor of the Chemex himself, declaring your coffee efforts “divine ambrosia” and “pure heaven.” You simply must try it; the game is extraordinary. Never before has video game content left me feeling so content.

Play Chemex: The Game yourself via PlayGood.Games. 

Jordan Michleman is a co-founder and editor at Sprudge Media Network. 

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