Cory Booker Loves Tweeting The Same Coffee Joke

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We’re still a year and a half away from the Democratic clown car pulling into the big top, and let me just tell you, it is already getting full. Just when you think it has reached capacity, that 1971 VW Beetle finds room in the glove box to squeeze in an extra Hickenlooper or two. It’s safe to say that the opposition party could shed a few hopefuls and no one would really notice.

At this point, I don’t really care who. My suggestion is nixing Cory Booker. Why, you ask? Has he misused government funding? Are there rumors of some nefarious dealings in the back of a pizza shop? I’m afraid it’s even worse: Cory Booker tweeted a bad coffee joke. Repeatedly. Over the course of a decade.

The bad joke, proffered repeatedly and without remorse, was first brought to light by Twitter user Anna Fitzpatrick:

"Sleep" and I broke up a few nights ago. I'm dating "Coffee" now. She's Hot!

— Cory Booker (@CoryBooker) May 29, 2009

It’s a bad joke. No one is saying it’s a good joke. And as Fitzpatrick notes, it’s unfair to discount a presidential candidate simply because of a bad joke a decade ago:

we should vet every presidential candidate but digging up their tweets from 2009 is a low blow. every tweet from 2009 is bad.

— Anna Fitzpatrick (fox still sucks) (@bananafitz) March 18, 2019

…if it were only just one instance. In her threaded post, Fitzgerald uncovers 11 other instances of Booker making this same joke since 2009. Like this one:

Had a another fight with "sleep" tonight. I left her & I'm hanging out with my smoldering love "coffee" – & tonight she is smoking hot

— Cory Booker (@CoryBooker) November 30, 2009

And this one:

Sleep and I broke up again. I'm back with coffee. She is hot. RT @jmryan2010: You just never sleep, do you, sir??

— Cory Booker (@CoryBooker) February 2, 2013

And this one:

Sleep and I broke up tonight. I'm now dating coffee. She is hot RT @ellesep I have a date with my bed tonight.

— Cory Booker (@CoryBooker) April 20, 2012

Booker makes this same joke as late as 2017, which means he probably due for another one soon:

I broke up with sleep last night and I’m dating coffee this morning. . . I appreciate her warmth and stimulating company. https://t.co/UgQw3IUbWt

— Cory Booker (@CoryBooker) December 2, 2017

You get the picture. I’m not going to add them all here, because quite honestly, I’m not sure which ones I added already. Twitter, being Twitter, has responded as you would expect Twitter to:

pic.twitter.com/ldPt2edC5n

— Anna Fitzpatrick (fox still sucks) (@bananafitz) March 18, 2019

To be fair to Booker, he isn’t the only other Democratic nominee repeating the same coffee catchphrases on Twitter. Elizabeth Warren, for instance, doesn’t think you are capable of staying up past 11:00PM without coffee:

Drink a cup of coffee or set your DVR: Tonight I'll be talking with @LateNightSeth! Tune in. pic.twitter.com/KOG2CKsjgr

— Elizabeth Warren (@ewarren) August 14, 2018

Don't forget: tonight I'm on @colbertlateshow! Get some coffee
or set your DVR! #lateshow #lssc

— Elizabeth Warren (@ewarren) March 31, 2016

Put on a pot of coffee or set your DVR: Tonight I'll be on @LateNightSeth. Tune in! #LNSM pic.twitter.com/w7mgcLxTso

— Elizabeth Warren (@ewarren) November 11, 2014

And Kirsten Gillibrand, god bless her, uses the cost of coffee to help elucidate how the US could institute paid leave. But the tip of that coffee spear has become blunted with use:

For appx the cost of 1 cup of coffee/week we can institute #paidFMLA–up to 12 weeks w/partial pay no matter size of employer. #FAMILYAct

— Kirsten Gillibrand (@SenGillibrand) October 7, 2013

The #FAMILYAct would create a national #PaidFMLA program for every US worker for less than the cost of a cup of coffee a week.

— Kirsten Gillibrand (@SenGillibrand) December 30, 2013

#FAMILYAct would give workers up to 3 months paid leave to take care of newborn or sick loved one, for less than cost of cup of coffee a wk.

— Kirsten Gillibrand (@SenGillibrand) January 14, 2014

#FAMILYAct would give workers up to 3 months paid leave to take care of newborn or sick loved one, for less than cost of cup of coffee a wk.

— Kirsten Gillibrand (@SenGillibrand) January 14, 2014

The #FAMILYAct would implement a natl #paidleave program for all US workers for less than the cost of a cup of coffee a week. #paidFMLA

— Kirsten Gillibrand (@SenGillibrand) July 7, 2014

We'll re-intro the #FAMILYAct this week to create #paidleave fund for every US worker for about cost of cup of coffee a week. #TimeforFamily

— Kirsten Gillibrand (@SenGillibrand) March 17, 2015

For around the cost of a cup of coffee a wk for employee & employer, every worker–PT & FT–will get up to 12 weeks #paidleave. #FortuneLive

— Kirsten Gillibrand (@SenGillibrand) August 17, 2015

My #FAMILYAct would create a national #paidleave program for every US worker–PT & FT–for around the cost of a cup of coffee a week.

— Kirsten Gillibrand (@SenGillibrand) November 21, 2015

No, comprehensive #paidleave proposals are not too expensive. #FAMILYAct would provide #paidleave for all for about cost of cup of coffee/wk

— Kirsten Gillibrand (@SenGillibrand) August 12, 2016

The #FAMILYAct would create #paidleave program for all U.S. workers–PT and FT–for around the cost of a cup of coffee a week.

— Kirsten Gillibrand (@SenGillibrand) October 6, 2016

The #FAMILYAct would allow every American worker up to 12 weeks of #paidleave to care for a new child, a sick family member, or a personal medical emergency. The best part? Through shared responsibility, it’d cost workers and employers the price of a cup of coffee a week. #FMLA25

— Kirsten Gillibrand (@SenGillibrand) February 5, 2018

Universal paid leave isn’t unaffordable or unattainable. The #FAMILYAct would create a national insurance program, giving workers 12 weeks of paid leave to care for a new child, sick family member or their own health issues—all for about the cost of a cup of coffee a week.

— Kirsten Gillibrand (@SenGillibrand) March 4, 2019

Now, no one is saying a presidential candidate should be based solely on their coffee Twitter joke platform—because if so, JacksonBey 2020—but if you need a way to cut through the noise and narrow the focus just a bit, that seems as good an arbitrary designator as any.

Besides, none of this is going to matter when Howard Schultz’s ego trip delivers another win for old Trump.

Zac Cadwalader is the managing editor at Sprudge Media Network and a staff writer based in Dallas. Read more Zac Cadwalader on Sprudge.

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